One Step
By Laura Baker
I’m scared a lot. If you’ve read any of my previous blogs, this is not at all surprising to you. But you may be surprised by this: it doesn’t bother me much anymore.
Actually, I think I have become more courageous over the past two years than I have ever been in my life. All the while being afraid most of the time.
Someone important once said to me, in the middle of a crisis, “Feel afraid. But do not make decisions based out of fear.” And I think about that concept several times a week. I’ll tell you why that statement is so important to me.
First, it recognizes that life is scary. I mean, there are a lot of ways we can all be hurt, abandoned, or just generally pummeled by people and circumstances in our everyday lives. This is not a safe place all the time, for any of us. There is much to be afraid of—in ourselves, in our loved ones, and in the seemingly random universe. So, to me, sometimes it is not helpful to hear that I should not be afraid. I like the first part of my friend’s statement because it feels like an arm around my shoulder.
But the second part is a kick in the pants. To me, it means it’s not okay to rest in that fear. Once I recognize that I am, indeed, afraid, it is then time to think, to process. And ultimately, to wait. This is the key for me. Wait. Wait. Wait.
Re-evaluate: Am I still afraid? Can I see through that fear to a decision or course of action that is rational, and that I can live with? No? Then wait some more.
How can we handle fear? Maybe we can acknowledge it, evaluate whether it’s real, and wait until we can see the next step in front of us.
And I have found that one step is all I need. I used to think I needed to see all the steps in front of me before I moved an inch. But, like the rock climbing I’m learning to do, all I have to do is find one or two holds for my hands and feet—and sometimes it’s just for my fingers and toes—but if I can really see that they are firm and stable holds, they may just be enough. I’m learning to have faith that they will be enough.
Feel afraid and then wait. Grab the next hold. And see where I can go. They tell me you can make it up an entire mountain that way.
I’m scared a lot. If you’ve read any of my previous blogs, this is not at all surprising to you. But you may be surprised by this: it doesn’t bother me much anymore.
Actually, I think I have become more courageous over the past two years than I have ever been in my life. All the while being afraid most of the time.
Someone important once said to me, in the middle of a crisis, “Feel afraid. But do not make decisions based out of fear.” And I think about that concept several times a week. I’ll tell you why that statement is so important to me.
First, it recognizes that life is scary. I mean, there are a lot of ways we can all be hurt, abandoned, or just generally pummeled by people and circumstances in our everyday lives. This is not a safe place all the time, for any of us. There is much to be afraid of—in ourselves, in our loved ones, and in the seemingly random universe. So, to me, sometimes it is not helpful to hear that I should not be afraid. I like the first part of my friend’s statement because it feels like an arm around my shoulder.
But the second part is a kick in the pants. To me, it means it’s not okay to rest in that fear. Once I recognize that I am, indeed, afraid, it is then time to think, to process. And ultimately, to wait. This is the key for me. Wait. Wait. Wait.
Re-evaluate: Am I still afraid? Can I see through that fear to a decision or course of action that is rational, and that I can live with? No? Then wait some more.
How can we handle fear? Maybe we can acknowledge it, evaluate whether it’s real, and wait until we can see the next step in front of us.
And I have found that one step is all I need. I used to think I needed to see all the steps in front of me before I moved an inch. But, like the rock climbing I’m learning to do, all I have to do is find one or two holds for my hands and feet—and sometimes it’s just for my fingers and toes—but if I can really see that they are firm and stable holds, they may just be enough. I’m learning to have faith that they will be enough.
Feel afraid and then wait. Grab the next hold. And see where I can go. They tell me you can make it up an entire mountain that way.
posted by Dale at 2:51 PM
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